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Showing posts with label Group W Boulders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Group W Boulders. Show all posts

Thursday, December 14, 2023

Kaizen

 “Continuously improve. Constantly strive to improve across all areas of your life. Small changes accumulate and make all the difference.”

I found Group W Boulders many years ago. I must not have seen the real gems at that time—War Pigs and the Wildflower Boulder—because it wasn’t until 2020 in the middle of the Covid pandemic that I returned. Why I chose this remote area when there weren’t that many people around…anyway, when I walked up on the War Pigs Boulder I knew I had to find it somewhere deep inside my flabby self to start climbing again. It’s one of the prettiest boulders I’ve ever found.

Sometime after this rediscovery I was flipping back through my climbing journal notebooks (which I transition from to a word doc in the early aughts) and saw a dot and a note in this area on a map I’d taped to the journal that simply said “Boulders”. I have no recollection of seeing boulders in that drainage, which is odd, though way back I obviously didn’t have a cell phone to take photos of.

The rediscovery happened right after Thanksgiving of 2020–three years and a few days ago as I write this—and I had recently watched Alice’s Restaurant. Hence the name…Group W Boulders. I decided each boulder should have a “w” name and originally was going to give every problem a “w” name but quickly realized that would not only be stifling to my creativity but also difficult.

The first two were Widowmaker (for a dead tree blocking a prime line) and War Pigs. Then I discovered an amazing boulder I’m calling Wildflowers but which currently has no established problems on it. It dominates the main cluster of boulders which include Wabi-Sabi, White Elephant and Willard Boulders. These all do have established problems. I believe the total for the whole area is fourteen with a lot of potential for more.

I may have passed on the area when I first saw it because back then I didn’t clean lines or boulders like I do now, and they may have just seemed too dirty or too much work to snip back the rhodo enough to lay down a crash pad. War Pigs was hidden when I re-found it, but I pushed into the rhodo and was ecstatic at what I’d found. Truth is…there may be some more gems in the thicket up the slope from War Pigs.

There are some problems on it I will get with work. I’ll have to get stronger. I’ll have to get back to a mental state of being able to push myself over a couple of pads. But my secret weapon these days? Top rope solo. I never worked boulder problems with a rope when I was younger. I definitely should have. And I knew how, and frequently did roped routes lead rope solo or top rope solo. I did that long before it was cool. I had an original Gri-gri I’d modified for that purpose. Then I bought a Silent Partner. It’s extra weight and bulk in my crashpads, but the peace of mind it offers is worth the extra leg workout and sore neck.

My progress is slow. In some ways it feels like not only have I experienced a setback in fitness and skill, but I went further down below the fitness and skill I started with as a beginner. It’s been much harder for me to reinject myself into climbing than it did to learn it to begin with. The only advantage I seem to have now is muscle memory. But weak and taut muscles have a hard time returning to younger shapes and configuration. I’m trying. Little by little I’m trying.

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Oubaitori

 “Never compare yourself. Everyone blossoms in their own time in different ways. Don't judge yourself by someone else's path.”

It’s hard to see others climbing hard or running long distances or cycling hard and feel like my best days are behind me. When did I lose it all? Or did I?

Am I too far removed from my past that I’ve forgotten who I am? I was the guy who would bushwhack with two crashpads in to some place I’d never been but suspected of having boulders, would find said boulders, clean them, climb every line I could in a day, and return and rinse and repeat.

I established a few hundred problems that way. When I was climbing my best I was putting up V2s and V3s regularly alone with no spotter. Just my two dogs. No cell phone. Hardly told anyone where I was going. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t strain my relationships.

The most shaken I’ve ever been while climbing was on the first ascent of a twenty foot highball that ended up with a V1 crux right at the end. I’d padded the problem all wrong and ended up cruxing high over naked earth. Well, and two loyal but irrevocably stupid dogs. Not only would falling in that obscure location result in my utter destruction, but I’d probably kill one or both of my canine companions as well. Pumped silly from the combination of a low crux and onsighting licheny rock I somehow held it together and ended up sitting on top of the boulder gasping for air, shaking like a leaf, and swearing off anything more adventurous than getting in the shower before checking to see if there’s towel on the peg.

Obviously I eventually settled down and decided not to retire from the outdoor life. I called that one “Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.” If you know you know. Maybe some day I’ll go back with a posse. Or not. The fallen tree I used to cross the creek is probably gone.

Even if I’m past my prime, my prime was pretty good. Oh, I never climbed harder than V4-V5. But I climbed a lot. So much I wrecked my tendons. I have a lot of good stories. Memories that will be entangled with my quantums for as long as I can hold on to them.

I mourn the part of my life I was not on the path I wanted to be. It was a long, long time. Long enough it feels like I lost a lifetime. But even the time I felt I was astray I had great experiences and lived a good life. It’s just not the route I set out to travel. And I missed out on experiences I definitely wanted to have. Many of those I simply will not have time to find now. And many have passed and can’t be found again.

Looking ahead I know I can stay true to my path. And it will be one worthy of my intention. I’m just struggling with so much baggage. It’s so heavy now. And I’m not as young and resilient as I once was. That doesn’t mean I’m not valuable. To myself or others. There’s something beautiful about the struggle.


Ikigai


“Know your reason for being. Define the reason you get up in the morning. Make it something you are good at, passionate about, and that the world needs. THIS is meaning.”

What am I good at? Not climbing. Especially now as I am on the cusp of being fifty years old. My genius is in spatial interpretation and awareness. That’s never made me rich and likely never will. But in exploring the landscape I was born into I have been able to satisfy the cravings of my heart and mind.

I can find the lines. And it’s no bother to me to hike around with a crashpad stuffed with brushes and a saw and loppers. I have passion enough return again and again. Quick after work sessions. Winter weekend outings. I believe eventually I’ll send all of my projects. Maybe naively.

Is this my purpose? Is this something worthwhile in the grand scheme? Am I inscribing into the stone of the universe the petroglyphs of my legacy?

I’m not good at waiting patiently. I end up feeding the urges in my mind with handfuls of exploration. Those urges are hard to satisfy.

I explore in my dreams. I wake up wanting to see something new every day. I make lists. I keep a tally of unsent projects in the back of my mind. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about them and have to stop whatever I’m doing to chase some new climb. Or find a new arch. Or visit a new overlook. Or holler. Or trail. Or stream.

(Originally posted 12/10/23)

Wabi-Sabi


“Embrace imperfection. Nothing lasts, nothing is complete. Accept your own flaws and those of others. Find beauty in imperfection.”

Getting older has a way of granting you perspective you couldn't get otherwise. You begin to see that change is the only constant in the universe. Things that seem like they will never change always do.

It also becomes painfully clear that you will never actually cross the finish line and be able to just enjoy some post-effort state. You never get a day off from life until it's over.

The quality of our experiences are based in our attitudes. Being able to accept something less than perfect... less than ideal...is a sublime joy. It's hard when other people cannot. It's even more difficult when they hold you responsible for their inability to enjoy life in its raw form.

Lately I've been going out and climbing whatever boulder problems I can. I'm not at the level of strength I would like to be, but I am still in the game.

Proprioceptive memories are an incredible experience. Wabi-Sabi is a recent problem I found and climbed, but sometimes, twenty years later now, I discover that my body remembers movements and the texture and shape of the rock that I haven't touch or made in two decades. And sometimes on problems and climbs I may have only done once. When I stretch for a hold and the split second before I fully grasp it I can remember EXACTLY how it's going to feel. That moment of "oh, there you are". When I turn into a back step, or find the right foot and my body finds the echo of movement from another lifetime...it's hard to truly describe. And I wish I had known all those years ago this was going to happen, but I'm happy to have these strange experiences now.

(originally posted on 12/9/23)

Fairies Wear Boots


I post these (videos to Instagram) for myself. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm not happy with the way I look and feel these days. I'm hoping by videoing myself doing this thing I love it will motivate me to get in better shape so I can enjoy life more.

I'm tired of not being able to do the things I want to do. I'm tired of hurting and aching after trivial activities. I'm tired of knowing I'm strong but carrying too much mental and physical baggage.

When I was younger I did some incredible things. And mostly solo. Giving in to the internal and external pressure to be “successful". I took the wrong path. I knew better. But I equated maturity with conformity.
I was wrong.

Fifteen years of career hell and most of those sitting at a desk and making long car commutes has weakened the core of me.

I'm not done yet. I can claim the later years of my life and make them my best.

(originally posted a couple weeks ago)