Cloud Peak

“I came a long way to get here” I wrote in the summit register through tears.  I had to fight through an ugly cry before I could write my name and where I’m from.  I carried a lot of baggage with me those eleven plus hard miles and 4,300’ feet.  I carried thirty pounds of stress-related weight gain.  I carried the weight of twenty-six years since I first read about Cloud Peak in the Bighorn Mountains after a road trip through Wyoming in 1998.  Twenty-six years of dreaming and scheming to get there. 

I fought through my own fears and doubts.  That was the real crux of the climb.  I lay cozy in my tent on the Paint Rock Creek/Mistymoon divide at 10,500’ in the predawn darkness on Monday morning, and I actually decided to bail—that when it got light I would pack up and hike out and drive on to the Tetons.  Hiking in and camping in such an amazing spot was pretty good, right?  While I waited for sunrise I scrolled through the pics on my phone from the day before.  And then I said out loud to myself “If you don’t try to get to the summit, you’ll never forgive yourself.  You’re too close to give up without trying.”

I resolved to go as far as I could go.  And so, I got up and began putting a summit pack together.  When the sky lightened, I got out of the tent, stowed some food from my bag in the pack and started toward Paint Rock Creek Falls where the actual climb begins.  I could barely see Cloud Peak in shadow as the sun began to color the clear sky.  I’d set my tent up facing the peak on a knoll overlooking the deep upper reaches of the south fork of Paint Rock Creek.  I’d been able to watch as the last light of day painted the western face of the summit and the stars, and the Milky Way came out in all their glory over the dark and quiet landscape the night before.

I paused at the falls to drink some water and fill up my bigger extra bladder with about two liters.  That would be the best water I had all day, as my Katadyn BeFree would jam up on me and I’d struggle to get a trickle from it most of the day despite repeatedly shaking it and swishing it as directed.  This is my one-star review of the Katadyn BeFree water filter.

I set a timer for forty-five minutes and I repeated that throughout the day.  Each time it went off I would sit down, drink some water (squeezing and sucking on the filter for all I was worth) and eat some walnuts, dried mangoes and peanut M&Ms.  And during those forty-five minutes between rests, I just put one foot in front of the other.  

I’m not going to lie, more than once I considered retreating, for no other reason than the going above me looked hard.  Or the summit looked far away.  But I soon realized that each time I looked up at it that it was closer.  And each time things looked hard there ended up being a way through the difficulty.  After you leave Paint Rock Creek the climb is almost entirely talus and boulder fields with the occasional bare slab.  Nothing felt dangerous except maybe when a large piece of talus shifted beneath me.  As long as I paid attention to my foot placements and didn’t get in too big a hurry everything felt reasonable.  I dreaded down climbing some of the sections I went up.  

I left camp at 6am.  I hoped to reach the summit by 10:00, but at 10 I was still 1,000’ below the summit.  I was tired, thirsty, and feeling the effects of being at 12,000’ for the first time in a long time.  I finished my rest, stowed everything, and began the final push.  I reached the top at 11:30.

After my emotional breakdown on the summit, I looked up and saw two gentlemen walking across the summit plateau.  I composed myself and began taking some photos.  I ended up chatting with them for a bit.  I believe we three were the only people to summit that day.

Since I planned to hike out to the car after I got down, I excused myself and at noon started the long march down.  They caught me about two hours later.  I’d stopped to rest, change into my base layer, and stow everything for the impending rain.  Heavy, dark clouds were moving in.  At that point I felt it made sense to hang with them, and they invited me along, so we three continued down into Paint Rock Creek, through a short rain shower, and on down through the magnificent hanging valley.  It was good to have company and conversation and not be in my own head once the difficulties were past.  My mind had cleared on the summit.  I left a lot of mental and emotional baggage there.  It was cathartic, and I had needed that experience for a long time.  I climbed the mountain and found many of the answers I had been looking for for a long time.

There are still some emotions to work through as I process the whole journey and write it all down as I must, because that’s who I am.  But I’m in a much better mental and emotional state than I have been in a long time.  Every mile, every step, every foot climbed has been worth it.

The trip isn’t over.  I sit writing this in a hotel in Buffalo, Wyoming.  Later today I’ll head out for White Butte, North Dakota, and then on to the state high points of Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan and Ohio.  I snagged the elusive high point of Illinois on Saturday morning before heading west.  But no matter what else happens on this trip…I’ll never forget my climb of Cloud Peak.

~ 9/10/24